Reality.

The same routine on and on. Going to school. Meet the face of my friends ; Saying, Good morning with a smile on my face. Care too much about other people but didn't think about my own feelings. 

This is what I do in my lifetime. Making people smile, Making people laugh. Not getting tired with the reality that nobody cares. Hide the real face behind the mask of this smile while entertaining people with happiness. I want people to look at me like I'm the type of girl that never goes down. I want to be the light in everyone's life. The light who shines brightly when someone is under the weather or in the darkness.

But when I kept on doing what I do. I get easily betrayed. People easily lie to me. In my mind, I forgive them. I don't care. I'm happy if they are happy. I don't care what happen to me. I just want people to be happy except me. 

Being best friends with someone is a challenge to me. I have to think about my best friend feelings at the same time my other friend's feeling. So I continuously doing this. Entertain my best friend. At the same time my other friend. After a few months together, my best friend had another best friend. At the same time it could be my rival. There is full of jealousy in me. But at the same time I want them to be happy with the other best friend. So I avoid the best friend and see them smile and laugh from afar. 

While I was doing this. I got hurt. Looking at them smile and laugh. Hurts me. Because they suppose to be laughing with me. Not with my rival. I sulk in my room. Thinking I'm already not strong to hold this feeling. Tired of smiling. Tired of laughing. And started being negative while saying "Well, I guess this is reality."

The next day. I'm thinking I want to change. But at the same time I still want people to be happy. My mind scream out ''Move out of my way reality." Ongoing story does not know yet. Even if they talk me I still feel I've been dismissed by them.

People don't know my story. But this is my reality. I hide behind the mask of the smile.